woodworking joke humour

Woodworking Comedy and Volets

As a woodworker in France, I too require the occasional light relief so here are a few corny jokes to get you by. 

  1. My greatest fear is when I die my wife sells my tools for what I told her I paid for them
  2. Measure twice, cut once, and then force to fit
  3. Sawdust is man glitter
  4. This is my stepladder, I never knew my real ladder!
  5. How do lumberjacks get fired? They get the axe.
  6. Women love me, trees fear me
  7. I cut it twice and it’s still too short.
  8. I’m a professional toothpick maker
  9. “It’s not scrap its decorative kindling…”
  10. If nail’ en it won’t work, then screw it
  11. “You want me to make that? Then I need to buy….” 
  12. Did you hear about the guy at the sawmill who had the whole left side of his body cut off? Don’t worry, he’s all right.
  13. Imagine if trees produced a WIFI signal they would be planting trees everywhere, too bad they only produce the oxygen we breathe.
  14. It’s always easier to ask for forgiveness when buying too many tools than it is to get permission from the wife.
  15. How to avoid serious injury, never tell a carpenter how to do his job.
  16. Have you heard the under construction joke? It’s not done yet.

We make Volets and shutters in Limousin France. Our workshops are based in Oradour Sur Vayres but we supply to most of Metropolitan France. Oradour is a small town with a large fair every July. Our shutters are hand made with limited use of machines and green methods. Our workshops currently use power from solar at 60% and we are investing in more green energy. 

You may not consider these jokes as funny but let’s explain why they are.

What  is a Joke

Silly question you may say? A joke is funny and provokes a natural human response. A joke is an art form in some well-executed examples. Something funny to one person is not funny to another. It can be controversial or just silly but still if it triggers those muscles to contract then maybe it was funny thus a joke. 

Why Do I Write these?

We write these articles for fun and hope you find them of interest. More jokes to come so I will be updating this topic on a regular basis so please return to keep a check on things.


I am happy to inform you that we have included some links to related products. If you decide to purchase any product we receive a modest commission and thank you for your support.

About Us, I Suppose You Might Be Interested?

We have lived and worked here in the Limousin Nouvelle Aquitaine since 2010, building window shutters and external doors. Our Volet manufacturing business is based at our home property as a ‘Cottage Industry’. We are a small business operating partly off the grid and try our best to practice our woodworking ethically.

Please Comment

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